What Floor?
You know what's a really awkward situation? Elevators. Yes, elevators. Elevators with more than just yourself in them. Think about it, you get in with like 3-5 other people, two of which know each other and then you others. You are all going from floor one to some higher floors like 8-9-10-11, etc. so it's a bit of a ride. What makes this awkward is the positioning of your eyes and body throughout this ride.
Where do you look? Well you can't look at anyone else in the elevator right? So what is everyone doing, including the 2 fucknuts who know each other and for some reason are whispering about their drunken friend from this past weekend? We are all looking away from each other, trying so damn hard to NOT make any eye contact with anyone else on the elevator, right? So we all end up looking at the floor as if all of a sudden the floor is the most interesting thing in the world. Oh the floor doesn't seem that appealing? Let's all nervously watch the floor counter to see what floor we are on now. Maybe if we all look at it together it will count faster.
Then about halfway up, the two people who know each other stop talking because they become self concious in the fact that they are the only 2 people talking and as they say no one likes the sound of their own voice, right? Oh and do we acknowledge anyone else in the elevator with us? Oh no, we're not even making eye contact remember? In our minds, we're the only ones here!
Then, where do you stand? Is it your fault that you shuffled toward the back of the elevator since you were there before anyone else got there but yet you get off before anyone else does? Are you to be made an asshole for having to shuffle through people all the way from the back of the elevator to get out? On top of which, making things worse by only going up 2 flights causing everyone to think simultaniously "what a lazy prick." A tip to all, button side is the best, it has the easiest access to slide right out.
Oh and what about that ONE guy who likes to make a "joke" and pretend like all of a sudden he knows you? That guy is the most nervous of them all because he can't even stand the mere thought of a quiet elevator ride with strangers! He has to "lighten the mood" and feel social. You know what asshole? Your joke sucked and you suck, just shut up and enjoy your ride.
And then you arrive at your floor and the doors open. NIRVANA! People can't wait to get the fuck off of that thing. You ever notice how fast people walk away from the elevator once they get off? It's like the awkward police lit an awkward fire under their awkward ass to get as far away as possible from that situation.
So after all that you realize that you eventually have to go back down on that same elevator......well, there's always the stairs right?
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
vanillajoke) wrote,
thirsty
